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Do you have a secure, avoidant, or anxious attachment style?
Attachment is a big deal. Each of us has an attachment style based on a range of experiences and genetic information. Attachment matters because of how influential it is in our lives. It affects all our relationships, impacts the way we perceive others’ intentions toward us, and even influences our views of self.
Constructive criticism and depression: Many of us with depression tend to be sensitive and may find it difficult to accept constructive criticism. There are times, however, when we need to hear some constructive feedback from people who love us and have our best interests in mind.
Having depression can sometimes lead to developing negative habits as we try to cope. Often things that aren't necessarily wise or healthy feel good at the moment. Sometimes it's easier to do what is comfortable rather than that which requires work and sacrifice. Also, depression drains us of our energy, thus making it difficult to take even that first step towards building healthier habits. Does this mean we're stuck? No, we're not; we just need to identify our negative habits and work toward changing them into more positive coping skills.
Understanding is more important than agreeing.
James and Anna came to see me because of a big fight they were embroiled in. The issue was money, which I learned they had been arguing about for years, with no resolution. However, within a few minutes, it became clear that money was not their only or actual problem. They had vastly different ideas and values around money, different narratives on its importance and meaning, and its representation.
Are they as innocent as you think?
Some lies seem inconsequential—known as “white lies.” Are they ever okay? You might think, ‘Well, it depends on the situation.’
Learn why your anxiety may be about fear of the unknown and what to do about it.
One of the first things I explain to my anxious clients when they come in for therapy is that avoidance maintains anxiety; anything you do to avoid or escape anxiety triggers in the short-term gives you more anxiety in response to those triggers in the long-term.
How anxiety makes even trivial decisions torturous.
When you think about it, there is very little in life that we can be certain of. Uncertainty is inherent in every decision we make, from the most profound choices of our lives ("Have I chosen the right person as my partner?" "If I take this job, will it advance my career?") to the most mundane ("What color should I paint my room?" "What should I have for breakfast?").
Don’t get so busy that you forget to show how much you care
“The things I do for the family are barely noticed, but I’m quickly called out for every slip-up. Nothing I do seems good enough.”
Trust is a demanding master.
Sexual infidelity is the headline grabber when most people think about betrayals in love relationships. But, there are everyday breaches of trust that slide under the radar and can erode even the strongest of relationships.
Record numbers of Americans have quit their jobs this year. More than 40% of workers are reportedly thinking about doing the same. After 18 months of societal turmoil, workers are burned out.